Tag Archives: transforation

Guiding my first Forest Bath – and reconnecting with Belgium in October

As part of my 6 month long practicum with the Association of Nature and Forest Therapy (ANFT), I have to guide 4 forest baths. Directly after I did the on-site training in Colorado and explored USA, I left for Belgium. I have not been in my country for 8 months, and in some view, even not have really lived there intensively for 4 years. Since the ANFT training I feel slowly that I start to appreciate the land where I am born… again after so many years. In my last blog reflecting about the on-site training in Colorado, I mention already I start to imagine to even work and live there for a long time. Being in Belgium, it emerges more, because I see all the beauty there. It is a bit scary to reorient old dreams and ideas that I prefer to live and settle in  more “wilder” places. This blog is about my first week in Belgium, the (re)connection with the land and ancestors, and about the mixed feelings that start to arise since I walk the path of forest therapy guide. 

Reconnecting with the apple tree and the land

In the first week I was on the land of my ancestors (read the home my paternal grandfather built) and had the pleasure to sit in the garden, between the apple and pear trees my brother and I planted ourselves some years ago. The first morning I looked at the old tree friends in our paternal family’s wild garden/forest and checked which had died and will be replaced soon by new trees. It had rained, so the smells were nice. I greeted the new tree (the magic tree; as my brother called it) and then went to our small orchard to check the state and study the mushrooms at their feet 🍄 . I took some apples and made an extract for me and my brother (and added some cinnamon.) I gave a bit of the tea back to the apple tree to thank her for providing these fruits. I thought about to bring also some of her fruits to my first forest bath; as apple reminds me to Halloween/Samhain and represents also beauty and self-care, fit for a yoga & hike weekend, but I stepped away from this and choose for something more wild and local.

However, I was a bit disappointed that my brother did not pick most of the pears and apples on time; they were all on the ground and rotting. I had arrived to late to pluck them. Some days later, it was a bit more sunny. I was drinking matcha latte in a chair and observing red admirals eating the fallen pears and apples. Seeing the butterflies enjoying it, let me realize it was not a loss. In nature, there is no waste. The rotten apple taught me a lesson about reframing too: everything changes, nothing perishes.

Connecting with an ancestor and a folk healer

Since 1989 there has been a plaque for Maria Van Loock, better known as ‘Mie Broos’, at the church in Vorselaar, near the place where she is presumably buried. She was famous, and people from worldwide came to consult her in the end of 19th century, early 20th century. Once I heard she is a bit connected to my own family. She was some sort of aunt of the cousin of my grandfather by marriage. Or something like that. I decided to dive into the history of this figure, and my connection with her, in order to learn more and reconnect with the land we share(d).

Mie Broos

She was not a doctor, but she learned from the experiences of her parents who were both employed by a doctor. She also learned a lot from a doctor for whom she had to help prepare medicines. Through personal searches she expanded that knowledge even further. She knew better than anyone the healing power of plants and prepared ointments with them. In addition she used “zoete lies”, which is pig’s fat.  The ordinary, poor man could always come to her, as she did not ask a bit to none money for her services. In this way she became legendary. From far and wide, even from abroad, people came on foot or by bicycle to Heiken, where Mie lived, driven by the last hope that they had placed on the competence of the healer from Vorselaar. She was also from a time when my region – the Kempen– was very isolated and poor; as the soil was sandy. Before they planted cultural forests for the mine industry early 20th century, she and my ancestors lived in heathland. Heiken also means heathland in a dialect of Flemish.

Some detective work

My father gave me the phone number of my grandfather’s brother. When I heard his voice, I could recognise the same texture and accent my grandfather had, and recalled it has been a long time ago (maybe when I was still a teen) that I had talked with him. He was happy to hear me, but could not really help me. We were not linked by blood, but there were some family connections. My grandfather’s cousin would be her son, or something like that. He gave me instructions to find Maria Broos, which could be some sort of her niece of Mie Broos, and added: “She is retired, has time to talk and loves to talk. So do not be shy to just visit her.” On my way to the library to pick up a book called “Mie Broos – volksgenezeres 1839 – 1927” I called at her door, but did not got answer. Maybe later. In the library, I found – next to the book about Mie Broos- another book written by a man called Tieto Stoops, which is about the “Kempen, its typical habitants, and the skills of their ancestors, its forgotten vegetables and other peculiarities”. The writer is very protective of local environmental knowledge and this book was even more a treasure for me.

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Before the mine industry emerged in Flanders and many culture pine forests were planned to support it, a lot of my ancestor’s region looked like the “Kalmthoutse heide”. 

Although Mie Broos is not my family by blood, but there are connections, through the land, I consider her as the elder person. Her stories continue to live in the book and are carried by people sharing her name and memories. I learned about the Kempen, the region to which I belong. Finally diving into her history, although I have other work pulling me, was probably encouraged by my forest therapy guide training. Since some time there is this big feeling of pulling me back to Europe, and the training invites me to not ignore it and explore my relationship with the land where my ancestors were born. Studying the local history, makes the “homecoming” more vivid. It helps to heal my own relationship with the land I have a double feeling with since my grandfather’s forestry accident 13,5 years ago…

When you realise Belgium has the same treasurers as Scandinavia (but just less)

This weekend, my friends gave me the space to guide my first forest bath during a yoga and hiking weekend she organised in Coo in Walloon, the French speaking part of Belgium, next to the Amblève. I was a bit nervous, because I had no time for scouting and trail pre-assessment for my forest bath, but I just trusted that the forest will take care of me and the participants. The first day, my friends organised a hike of 16 kilometers/10 miles. I was sometimes the last of the group because I wanted to study rosehip, fly agaric and honeysuckle 😂.

I noticed that this is the forest bather in me that wanted to slow down, but then I tuned in the hiking energy, which was also very cool. I noticed that when I hike I notice even more than normal, like this caterpillar for example. We also rang at the door of old houses and asked for tap water to the people there. It was a good opportunity to beef up my French a bit.

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How longer I am in Belgium (and I am only here for 8 days, so maybe I am in this strange kind of honeymoon) I fel more and more in love with the nature of Belgium. There were many occasions I was surprised to notice beings I saw in Norway, USA and Japan, and thought it could only be found in the wild of these countries, and not in “tamed” Belgium. It was a bit confronting… some way, I know I belong to the land here and can contribute to the ecosystems here by dedicating my life to ecopsychology, but there is still a pull to live in a wild country like Norway or Sweden, which is at least closer to Belgium. I am still a bit confused what to do, and I decided to not think about it for the next half year. I will see what happens.

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If I told you this photograph was taken in Norway or Sweden (and point to the birches), you would believe. I found a bit of Scandinavia in this region of Belgium.

Guiding my first forest bath

On Sunday October 13th I guided my first forest bath. With such a beautiful nature as my partner, I had full confidence in it. 15 young spirits joined me. It was very a learning experience to be in the role of guide, and not of participant, this time, and see how everyone interprets the invitations or how everyone tunes in the forest at different pace.

For this tea ceremony, I decided to pluck some nettle to brew some tea and used yellow maple leaves as decoration. According to Spafinder, “Nettle is rich in calcium, potassium, magnesium, vitamin C (10 times more than an apple), vitamin B complex, vitamin E, amino acids and beta-carotene (five times more than a carrot) to name only a few. It is alkalizing while supporting the immune system, the nervous system, bone stability, the metabolism and skin health. That translates into having more energy, mental acuity, disease resilience and radiant well-being.

The biggest reward was to listen (and learn from) the stories of the participants during the tea ceremony, to notice the nature through their senses. None of them have never done a forest bath before, and they thought it would be “more spiritual”, “too hippie”, “too glimmering”. At the end, to me personally, or via another person, or on the evaluation sheet, they told me that they know it’s all about “self-care”, staying in contact with yourself and stillness. I feel very blessed today.

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Changing the Stories We Live By #2: The Forest Sees You.

In the past weeks I am studying forest therapy and ecolinguistics, as part of my journey these days which I can call the Way of the Guide, but also to see if the Flemish circular economy fiction book I am writing is not reproducing the hierarchical system that is letting some people exploit other beings (including other humans).

During a forest bath in Colorado’s Rockies

We can share knowledge, but as long people believe some stories are fixed (like that people are selfish and greedy) this knowledge will not turn into action. Therefore it is important to think about the impact of the (hidden) stories we create and share.

One example is to acknowledge the more-than-human-world and recognize that we, as most humans, can witness, but that we can also be witnessed, not only by humans but also by other beings. Instead of writing “she passes a tree” I wrote “the tree saw her walking”. Did you see what I did there? I changed the interaction between the she-character and a tree and made the tree more “alive”, which it is. But often in stories trees and other beings are depicted as “dead materials” or “objects”.

During the forest therapy guide training I heard the guides/ trainers also use sentences like “the forest sees you”. I think it powerful and that it feels very true. It fueled my confidence to even use these kind of “descriptions” more in the stories I write.

Although I am not Latina and do not have magical realism running through my veins, I also decided to introduce a doll as a character that communicates and influences the thinking and behavior of my main character.

Writing this down, I wonder if Latin-American magical realists are already better ecolinguists than so called “western” writers. Feel invited to share your ideas and stories 😉

To access a free online course about ecolinguistics: http://storiesweliveby.org.uk

The Forest Awakens – or starting my journey to become a forest therapy guide

Earlier in September, two weeks before the autumn equinox, I started my 6 month long training to become a certified guide of the Association of Nature and Forest Therapy Guides (ANFT). I traveled to this beautiful rustic lodge at the Grand Lake, Colorado, in the Rockie Mountains where 24 other souls and I would participate in a 8 day long intensive training.

Now we got all a mentor and do a 6 month long on-line practicum. In the next six months I will share some learning experiences and reflections.

Some days later, I found a perfect T-shirt to wear as Forest therapy Padawan

The forest is the therapist.

The guide opens the door. This is one of the first things we learn. We create and sustain safe, meaningful space for participants to explore their relationships with nature, the land and the community. Guides are no teachers or therapists. We do not prescribe or give answers. We do not learn to “fix” people. As a guide we do not judge and say what is wrong or right for someone else. Because we do not know what is best for others. We give space in nature to people to explore, discover, reflect and “fix” things in their own life – if needed. It is about empowerment. A guide is the kind of leader I want to be. I have guided workshops before and created spaces for mostly other young people in Asia and Europe in the past 7 years to learn about different topics , but I feel in the Forest more in my elements, because as a forest therapy guide you work together with the forest. The forest is the partner of the guide and the guide is the partner of the forest.

I have to admit that I am still anxious about being in the forest, for different reasons, but I believe also that my partnership will deepen as a spiral in the next months, years and even decades and that I will trust the forest more and more. I already see I am seeing the “dangers” of the “wild” differently compared with 3-4 weeks ago. The fire is lit. It is up to me to keep it feeding wood.

Forest time

During the 8 day training we experienced also guided forest baths. I have done forest bathing in Japan (eg. Forest Therapy Taking Root and Meeting Japan’s curse spirits during a Forest Bath) but the approach of ANFT focuses much more on ecopsychology. Every time I lost track of time, and the whole training felt like I was 8 days somewhere “between”. The trainers called it tuning into forest time. At the first day of the training I was checking my to-do-lists and social media, but from the moment we started I lost my interest in my to-do-lists and Facebook. I became very present -from the first moment.

We started with a forest bath guided by our lead trainer who is an indigenous woman and powerful story teller from Canada. And I was directly enchanted. I knew I was at the right place. She started the forest bath with acknowledging the ancestors and sharing a bit about the local history so we made sense of the place. This acknowledgement is not present in a Japanese guided forest bath. As I am into environmental justice, local knowledge and environmental history this beginning touched me. Before, people asked me why I did not study the way of the guide in Japan, and I could not give a strong answer, but since that moment I can.

May the Forest be with you

During that first forest bath we got invited to listen to a tree. I was the youngest trainee, and maybe because of that, or maybe because now many young people like Greta Thunberg and Autumn Peltier are standing up (Ecofeminism in 2019) that I decided to sit next to a young tree. And in my head I heard: “good you acknowledge that young beings also have stories to share.

I noticed also how many dead trees were surrounding us. The pine beetle is changing the landscape of the Rockies. I noticed then the drawings these beetles made in the trunk. I recognized a bird.

Often the forest confronted me in almost mystical experiences with some of my inner demons. Or maybe, as I was in forest time and did not occupy my mind with to-do-lists and Facebook likes, I had the time to confront myself. I saw a lot of beard moss, and I know it is a bio-indicator for clean air. I saw it in Norway, and now here, but I did not notice it in Belgium. Of course. My country deals with air pollution.

If I am selfish, I will move to a clean and safe country as Norway, buy a house in the forest and learn to live with the seasons. It calls me a lot, and how longer I stayed in the Rockies how less anxious I became to meet wildlife like bears and coyotes. In contrary, I was almost hoping to spot one and felt a sadness that Belgians do not learn together with other beings as the habitants of Grand Lake.

However I feel I should help making Belgium more “mossbeardy” and rewild it. What I also like about ANFT’s approach is that they do not talk about hazards but about being aware of other beings. A guide tells beforehand how to live and interact with other beings if we would meet them. When the main trainer talked about what to do when we would encounter a black bear, I felt how my thoughts about the forest transformed. It was alchemy! Many people are afraid for the forest, and I realized I also had anxieties and edges, but I started to see the forest as the Force in Star Wars. We are all interconnected, and we can learn so much by opening our senses to the forest or the force around us. We can become more connected with ourselves and the nature around us so we know what to do when – and stay safe.

Call from the Past

Stories can be found in the forest. And stories can be our medicine. At some point I was sitting in a circle with some trainers and other trainees. I heard a sound next to me, and first I was annoyed that someone had not switched off their phone. It was as someone got called. But then I realized the sound came from the dead tree next to me. It was covered with beard moss.

I heard the familiar sound of the wind playing with the dead tree, but this was an eerie sound that I never heard before and made me very nervous. The others noticed how my energy shifted and let me sit somewhere else. I kept an eye on the tree, and felt it could fall, although it was locked in another tree that it was almost impossible that it would hit someone. But some grief overwhelmed me. When I was alone, I cried. Sometimes we need ruptured so new light can enter our hearts, a dear Mexican friend told me after my heart broke again some months ago. And again I felt the healing of a rupture as my tears penetrated my skin. The noise was like a call to the past.

I had to think about my grandfather who died in a forest accident almost 14 years ago. He was the man in my childhood with who I have to thank my closeness to nature. He was my guide in the forest, and when I was ready to learn how to be a guide, the trees took him from me. I knew I was traveling woodwide to learn the lost knowledge from my grandfather and our ancestors. But if he had not died I had not traveled woodwide and collected so many seeds. It is like in the fairytales that Clarissa Pinkola Estes collected in her book “Women Who Run With the Wolves”. The journey of the hero, or the growth of a girl into a woman, starts when the (too) good mother or grandparent dies or leaves. This is how I accepted his death. And when I heard that calling sound of the dead tree, I had to think again about the loss, and also about other beautiful men that left my life.

Medicine wheel

During a breakfast, the main trainer told that indigenous people who traveled over sea navigated with the help of the polar star, but even if it was cloudy they could orient as they could feel where the polar star was. As if a rope connected then with the stars and the land. It reminded me to a cartoon my Mexican friend shared once and I saved, because I also could feel the ropes pulling me back to north/west Europe.

And during the second forest bath, there was twice invitation to follow the direction that felt right. I followed my guts. There were indeed some directions that made me feel bad. And when I was sitting somewhere I realized I might always be drawn to the saw direction. I already knew. I took my compass and saw my intuition was right. I am drawn to the NE, to my home. Later, a trainee let me take a tarot card and I took again the card if the medicine wheel of the compass. A very appropriate card for a woodwide wanderer as me. I know it is time to find back my way to home. I collected most seeds I need for the next phase in my womanhood. It is just waiting if I settle in Belgium or in the Nordic countries, or find a way to combine it.

My first medicine walk

At the last day we had to wander around alone in the nature for a couple of hours. Some days ago I would not have done it. I did not want to go walk alone, but this time I trusted the Forest and my connection with it.

At the end of the six months we have to do a more intense to reflect about the “medicine” we can give to the world and ourselves. I realized again how story telling – and forest therapy guiding – are mine. I could not resist to stop and write down. I wrote mostly in English, but also in Dutch. I am dreaming in two languages, or something between. These words came from my heart:

And the tree pointed me back to look to the north east

There is a path

You will meet your spirit animal

Golden spiderwebs

And I could see the path

There was an awareness there

Over roots

So many references to the wood wide web and weave my stories in it

Different shades of green

A humming bird – is it ?

Many butterflies and moths colored in sunshine

A mouse runs in hurry

Sit on boomstronk

Older Tree invites me to come closer

I miss to be hugged

Beard moss – I miss the touch of his beard

He is the one

He was always the one

A hole

Snake hole

Is it?

There are so many places to go in the soil

Grashalmen in zonneschijn op een rots deden me stoppen

Hier is het

Dennenbomen

Dode dennenbomen

Aspen

I like to be in a cold place

Troebel beeld, boom leek te groeien

I am somewhere between.

En there was again the hummingbird

One meter from me. And I knew.

Aspen and golden threads

How is it that I did not feel the rags?

And I notice the directions they are climbing too

The east, the northern east

Moving stone in the water

Chipmunks

Lying on the rock

I look up and feel safe

Aspen and sunlight

Let go the expectation of the humming bird coming for a third time

He will come, but be late

A shift

Do not stay too long

Something Is coming from the west

A shriek that made me go

Walk fast

And I am on the trail I know

But is it the same trail?

I do not recognize

Suddenly I see new things

Like blue berries

But they aren’t

It reminds me to him

Potatoes

I go closer – but they are mushrooms

Tempting to eat, pluck….

but I should not

Not now, not here

Blueberries, potatoes and beards

It reminds me all to him in the north east

Why did I never see them before?

While I have been so much?

Abundance of rose hips

Pride because I see it

And I keep walking

Cross new spaces

It looks so new and strange

As if I am somewhere else

And I pauze

Moss beds

And pines

The sunlight

Go deeper

But no path

Only a small inham, stop and write

It is ok to write

It is who you are

A new path of grass

Beautiful green

The last sit spot in the shades of two pine trees covered in beard moss

Beard moss spinrag sunlight

The bees smelling the pine

The river

Peace

And I hear the tree

Zoemen

brommen

again

drumcirkel

Is it the same tree of the last days?

Come back soon

It is the same tree.

So far.

It is the heart of the tree

A kiss

Darkness and holes at the pine left from me.

Spiderwebs and the underworld.

My book cover

My business.

Storytelling and forest therapy

My medicine.

On my way to the circle

I paused at the tree

Put my Head on it, on the moss

Felt the beard

I know

And I return

The Hummingbird

I thought for 7 years that the wolf was my spirit animal, although I never did a test and went to a liminal space to confirm it. I had expected a bigger spirit animal. It is not always the case that you see your spirit animal during a medicine walk, I think, but when I started I felt it would come. I just had expected something … bigger. However … when I read about the hummingbird it made sense. I have to read more about the hummingbird, but I will find time in the next 6 months to study it and write a blog about my connection with this animal.

After the 8 day training, I joined other young spirits to the Grand lake. My stay in this place was over, but I knew….

This is just the beginning …

Lugnasadh: the first corn, rice and berries

Lugnasadh, also known as Lammas- is the start of the harvest season, marking the point where the first fruit of the land has ripened. This is also the time of Lugnasadh, a festival my ancestors held on August 1st, to celebrate the first harvest and the hard work they did. They made bread and were grateful they saw the first fruits of their work. It is mostly celebrated on August 1st.

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We’re starting to see summertime efforts, but the reaping is not yet complete. It is both an opening and a closing. It’s the in-between time just after the heat of the day and right before sunset, it is a crossroads. It is also a great time for transformation, reflection, introspection and reconnection – with the earth, ourselves, and the other living beings.

My first mental harvest

Coincidence or not…  the day before, I had the intermediate defence of my PhD in Japan.  As some know, I do a PhD of systems thinking in sustainable development at Nagoya University. I had to share what hard work I had already done.  This intermediate check happened on actually a good timing when you look to nature and the seasons (in the northern hemisphere), because I had to talk about my “summer of hard work” and explain what will be the fruits that will be harvested in my final year. I also know a lot of work is still waiting. This is just the first harvest, but it is a sign that more harvest will come, as long as I keep working a bit longer.

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During that defence, I realized again how tough and emotional a PhD can be. There are so many uncertainties to embrace, so much to consider and to decide, and especially if you go for an interdisciplinary topic, and want a social robust outcome, you have to expose your work and ideas and yourself. And you do not always get the feedback you like to hear. 

Everyday there are so many questions that arise. Living in a country so far from your home, where they speak another language, where you have to rebuild your social support and personal life from scratch, makes it not easier. I share mostly photographs of my weekend trips in nature, but I should share maybe also more pictures of my confused face, or my apparently angry looking face when I focus on reading literature or trying to decipher Japanese electricity bills. 


But it is worth it. I feel everyday I develop myself more, so I can become a better academic, change agent and individual.

Grateful

And I am also so grateful for the people here that are my support system, help me with my life in Japan, translations, interpretations, finding solutions and locating things for me, arranging VIP seats and mountain cabins so I can experience unique Japanese things in my weekend, borrowing books or eyeliner, even giving me once in a while a cup of tea, a great speech and/or hug.

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Moon circle

The evening after, together with friends from Japan, Thailand and Mexico I did a girl’s circle during the new moon. We mixed some Mexican and European traditions, so for instance, we worked with corn from Mexico and linden wood from my home country. Since it’s harvest time, we worked with ideas around harvest, human craft and skill. 

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We made a special amulet using herbs and spices that are associated with this new moon’s power (cinnamon, rosemary and linden wood on which we dropped orange aroma). It was the first time in years I was using the needle again to sew the the little bag of the herbs, and I enjoyed it to use my hands, and create something, and not my mind which I use (sometimes too much) during my academic work. I asked for my wishes and and asked for more creativity and discipline so I can finish this adventure in a good way. In the end I shared home made corn bread and tea with these beautiful women. I am ready for more harvesting.